Alec and a Half
by Latest From The Asylum
Summary: Alexandra has a crush on the infamous warlock Magnus Bane, but to her dismay he's not anything close to 'straight'. But after making a gender-bending deal with a back ally fairy, how far is she- or now, he- willing to go to catch the warlock's attention? -Cover by She-be of deviantart-
1. Pining over Maybelline

_Hello all! Another... fanfiction... gah... *dies* This was originally an idea for my random-awkward fanfic 'all this to make for a very awkward situation', where all my weird TMI ideas go. But, thanks to a friend of mine and the manga Ramna 1/2, this kind of exploded into a larger idea. Yes... feel free to mock it for its weirdness._

_Er... review? :D_

_The Mortal Instruments is the sole property of Cassandra Claire, and her publishing house. The basic weird idea is shamelessly taken from the fine manga known as Ramna 1/2, and is by no means mine._

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><p><strong>Alec ½<strong>

_Chapter 1: Pining Over Maybelline_

"Alex… _Alex!"_

"_What, _Iz?"

Isabelle elbowed her sister, giggling. "It's _him _again!"

"You better not be—" Alexandra flushed violently when she caught eyes with the near stranger. "Oh God."

It was late Friday night when the two Lightwood girls—Isabelle and her senior by two years Alexandra—had taken to huddling in an obscure corner in Club Pandemonium. Even with the club's less-than-exclusive nature (Alex could spy a handful of goblins downing jello shots not two booths away) they were both dressed to impress; Isabelle flaunting her curves in a "little" black number while Alexandra, being the more conservative of the two, passed off with a blouse and a pair of dress pants. And as usual it was Isabelle who got all the boys to drool while Alex quietly sipped her cherry coke in the background, content in being the sober observer of drunken affairs.

Content, until _he _showed up.

"Well, go get him!" Isabelle nudged Alex out of the booth, "You've been swooning over him every night he's been here, and I think you two are long overdue for an introduction."

Alex would have loved to do just that, save for one problem: if it weren't for the support of the table, her knees would have most certainly given out. That, and she got so dizzy looking at him she was strongly considering shacking up in the bathroom for the rest of the night. "No… I…" Her stomach did a back flip when, once again, she met those too-attractive-for-her-own-good cat eyes. Cat eyes that immediately shifted over to check out a werewolf in drag. "He wouldn't be interested."

"So he's flaming out of his ass, who cares?" Iz grinned, "For all you know, he could be bi. And, no offense, you're such a tom boy he might think you're a dude anyway."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"I'm still not going."

"Oh, come on!" She slammed her drink to the table, scooting out of the booth and standing. "If you're not going, I am. Sit there and look pretty while I talk you up… or handsome, depending on your angle."

Alex paled. "Wait, Iz, no—!"

But she was off, confidence fueled by two strawberry screwdrivers and gaining half the club's attention with the sharp clicks of her heels along with the exaggerated swing of her backside. Even Alex's warlock—_By the angel, the warlock—_took his eyes off of a fairy boy in skinny jeans to see what the fuss was about. To Alex's humiliation her sister walked right up to him, snatched a slip of paper from his hand and started up a conversation.

She scooted back into the booth, trying her hardest to keep her attention on her soda. But she couldn't help but peek and every time—_every time!—_the warlock's eyes were on her. He'd smirk at her, she'd turn red and curse herself for her strange attraction to glitter and hair gel. And Maybelline. _Damn you Maybelline. Damn you to hell._

Eventually Iz returned with a paper square and another drink. "Well, I've got good news and bad news."

Alex buried her face in her hands. "He thought I was fourteen, didn't her?"

"Eh, fifteen, and it turns out he doesn't have much of a thing for 'little girls'."

"That's the bad news?"

"That was the good news. Honestly, if he thought you were in junior high and dug it, I'd be running. Fast." Isabelle too a sip from her drink, "Bad news is, he's going home with elf-boy tonight and couldn't pencil you in. He offered this, though." She pushed the paper across the table.

Not that Alex was interested. "I don't want it."

"Of course you do, he's practically giving you a second shot." Peering between her fingers, Alex saw her sister shoot an impish grin. "Dress hotter next time. That'll straighten him out."

"Right." Alex picked the scrap up and skimmed the heading.

_For those searching for a night filled with rapturous delights and pleasures, the Magnificent Magnus Bane presents his humble abode to your drinking and dancing whims._

"Magnus Bane." Alex couldn't help but smile a bit; even his name made her giddy.

"Hold on, cowgirl. It's an invitation to a party, you still have a long way to go." Iz snatched the invite from her hands, "Come on. We better get going… I'd say all the good fish have already been hooked. It won't be long before some trolls will try hitting on us."

Nodding, Alex shrugged her coat on and with one last glance at Magnus—_Damn, he is with elf boy—_took her leave close behind Iz.

But just because she was out of the glitter and lights, didn't mean her mind was any less devastated with too-fresh images of her crush's gay makeout session. She followed her sister in a daze, bouncing back and forth between being sick with envy for the fairy boy to being sick of being in love with a guy who just didn't Swing Her Way. It wasn't until she heard a slight scuffle behind her when she realized they were being followed.

"Hey, Iz…" Alex smiled when her sister glanced at her, already knowing the message had gotten across.

The younger Lightwood nodded. "Sure thing."

And then followed the most explosive bout of kick-ass ever to result from the two shadowhunter sisters. The stalker—another fairy, Alex couldn't help but seethe—cried out when she pulled him up in a full-nelson which awarded him with a hardy slap from Isabelle. "Now… care to explain why you're following us?"

"I—" He gasped, revealing a set of coffee-and-smokes yellow teeth, "I—I thought you would need my help, that's all!"

"You're 'help'?" Iz rolled her eyes, "What, you get us our prince charmings in exchange for our first born children. God, that takes a lot of balls. I would be impressed…" She kneed him in the groin, and he crumpled out of Alex's hold. "…if I didn't have the ability to take them away from you."

"Not princes—not princes—no first born children, either." He groaned and rolled onto his back. His eyes glinted like black marbles when he looked to Alex. "But… I noticed you—the warlock. You have eyes for him, don't you?"

Flushing, Alex stepped back. "How do you know that?"

The fairy snorted. "You come in and pine over him nearly every week. It's common knowledge, little moth."

"And so will this." Isabelle scowled, "I'm sure your buddies will be impressed when you crawl back into your hovel with bruises inflicted by a huge, tough band of _teenage girls._"

The fairy struggled to his knees. "I can help."

Isabelle was about to launch into another beating when Alex held her back. Startled, her sister stopped, but not without the _"what the hell do you think you're doing" _she knew too well. Alex ignored her, turning instead to the fairy. "How? Do you know him? Can you talk him into a date?"

"It'll take more than that." The fairy snorted, "The warlock hasn't slept straight in over a decade."

Heart sinking, Alex frowned. "Then we'll convince him to?"

With a chuckle, he rocked back onto his heels, peering at Alex through a fair mat of white blond hair. "He's old and stubborn. You'd have to be quite the specimen to convince him otherwise."

"Well…" Alex ventured, "Am I good enough?"

"Not by a long shot."

_Smack!_

The fairy glared at her, nursing his inflicted cheek. "I have to be honest, love. It's in my blood."

"Not that honest." She stood, shooting the fairy one last dirty look before turning back to her sister. Without a word, the two set back down the street. It had began raining earlier that night, the sidewalk pocked with all assortments of puddles and muck. And just as she was about to round a particularly deep pool, a had wrapped around her ankle. With a shriek, she was jerked off balance, tripping forward and getting positively soaked.

"Alex!"

"I'm… I'm…" She sputtered, sitting up as best she could. Water was everywhere; dripping from her hair to drenching her blouse translucent. _Thank God I thought to wear a cami. _Even after having splashed the majority of the rainwater onto the street, the puddle still sat a good two inches deep around her. And by the angel, it was cold. "I'm okay, really. Just a little—"

She stopped short. Clearing her throat, she tried again. "I'm just a little—"

Her hand flew to her throat, heart picking up pace. Her voice was off, way off… a good octave deeper than it should have been. _Did I swallow something? Did I—? _But as her hand strayed away from her throat, she discovered her voice wasn't the only thing that was "off". Her chest, while never being the most pronounced, was now completely flat, and as she shifted to a more comfortable position her trousers pinched somewhere where, regularly, they had never pinched before. On top of that, her clothes seemed to have dropped three sizes, threatening to rip at the slightest twitch which didn't help as she began to shake when she finally met eyes with the fairy responsible for her tumble.

His sneer was long and wide, "The only way to catch a bird of paradise is to appease to its delights. You, little moth, simply have to go to slightly greater feats to catch the pretty thing you have eyes for." He stood, absolutely glowing with pride as he surveyed the two shell-shocked siblings. "Now that I've got you're attention, I should introduce myself properly. I go by the name of Dweezle, and no you may not call me "Dah-weasle". And you, sir, would prefer to be called…?"

"Lightwood." Alex gasped, "My name is… Alex Lightwood."


	2. Kisses, Darling!

**Alec ½ **

_Chapter Two: Kisses, Darling!_

"If you keep fidgeting, it'll be your ears coming off, not your hair."

Isabelle snorted from behind her _Cosmo _magazine. "If you lob my sister's ear off, I expect you'd be able to magic it back on. Right, fairy?"

"_Brother._" Dweezle corrected, making Alex tense as he began to trim the hair around, of course, her ears. "And I may be a fairy but that doesn't make me a miracle worker."

This made Isabelle laugh outright, "Oh, so you're saying you can't heal a nicked ear while you're completely able to give my sister a fully functioning—"

"Hey—uh, how about you let him focus on his work?" Alex muttered, blood rushing to her cheeks as she clenched the arms of the swivel chair the two had propped her up in. It had been a little over a week since their disastrous first run-in with Dweezle; the rogue fairy and apparent part-time _Queer eye for the Straight Guy _stylist. And for Alex, it had to have been one of the longest weeks she's ever known.

First off, they discovered the gender change wasn't permanent. Great, except for the fact that Dweezle made the "trigger"—the thing resulted in her drastic change in gonads—water of all things. _"A splash of hot water and you'll be certain to catch that Warlock's eye. Cold water… well, you go back being this girly duckling. I suggest investing in a rain coat." _This making for numerous awkward showers, where she had to either freeze under cold water the entire time or hope she didn't forget to spray down before walking out… more than once Isabelle had to douse her new brother with a glass of icewater before their parents could see.

Secondly, there were the daily visits to Dweezle's flat where she'd be doused in hot water the moment she stepped through the door. Being the wonderfully useful fairy he was, he made sure to offer nothing but directions to his apartment on that first night and only giving them bits and pieces of information before sending them away each day. Saturday was a tutorial in androgynous (but still sexy) clothing; Sunday was posture/walking; Monday, Tuesday, Wedensday, and Thursday were all random bits of magical advice along with male-makeup lessons where Alex learned that she liked cosmetics even less as a boy than as a girl. Then finally, there she was now, late Friday afternoon getting her hair cut short while her sister got gussied up for the party.

The party. Magnus Magnificent Bane's party, which was only hours away from starting.

Alex felt as if she was going to be sick. _Wait, no. Alec _felt like _he _was going to be sick.

Her—_his_—new name to wear for the night and hopefully impress a certain warlock under. Distinctly male, and yet still close enough to her—_God, his—_real name so _he _could get used to it easier. Maybe.

"I still can't believe I'm going through with this." Alec slumped in his chair once Dweezle had finished.

"Mortals have been known to do pretty crazy things in the name of love." Dweezle chuckled, pulling out a hand mirror and holding it up for Alec to see his reflection. "Of course, most of those things not unlike this one were heavily encouraged by us folk as well as a few glasses of wine, for good taste."

"Good taste?" Alec muttered, scrutinizing his reflection. He was still getting used to the harder edge his face adopted when fueled with testosterone, making the addition of shorter hair her stranger to him. It wasn't terriblely short, in fact for a guy, it was quite shaggy. But even when his bangs were still getting in his eyes, it was still weird that the rest of his hair was about just as long.

There was a rustle of magazine pages, and a light gasp. "Holy shit." Isabelle stood up, pushing Dweezle's mirror to the side to get a fuller look at her brother. Alex—_Alec—_didn't know whether to be relieved or terrified by the look on his sister's face. "You… are… _sexy."_

Alec raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I actually kinda want to snog you right now."

"Please don't."

"Actually…" Dweezle hummed, replacing his mirror, "It'd make for great practice for him."

Isabelle laughed (something she's been doing around Dweezle a lot, Alec hated to notice) and took a step back. "I was joking. But you have a point. Alex—_Alec…_ you haven't kissed anyone, have you?"

Alec frowned. "Have too."

The fairy and the shadowhunter gave him a skeptical look, Dweezle leaning forward with an unsettling grin. "Really? And who was lucky enough to have your first kiss?"

"Yeah… uh…" Alec pursed his lips, trying his best to dig up a name Isabelle would recognize as a real person, but not know well enough to actually contact to find out if he was telling the truth. "S… Sebastian."

"…You're kidding."

"N-no. I was only thirteen, but, uh, we kissed. Totally." He paused, before adding the ever-crucial. "On the lips."

There was another pause, Dweezle and Isabelle looking none-too-impressed. But Alec didn't care if they believed him fully or not. Just as long as he got off the hook, he'd be fine. But, of course, some invisible plan bubbled up between the two, and before Alec could so much as ask what they had up their sleeve Dweezle shot forward, closing the space between he and Alec.

"_Mmph!"_

After much too long, Dweezle finally pulled back, black eyes glimmering. "Experienced kisser my ass. I've met spriggans who kiss better than you do."

Alec, now red to the ears, glared at the fairy. "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes, it was." He held up a hand, quelling any argument Alec tried to make and turned to Isabelle to, Alec feared, deploy the second part of their plan. "Now… we have two hours to make you presentable to the most notorious warlock this side of the river. Isabelle, fetch the eyeliner. I'll go get the outfit I laid out for him, and Alec, please don't touch your hair. The gel I used in it is worth more than your life."

And that was when normally Alec would back down. When he'd proclaim that it was all too much for him to handle and insist he go back home to the institute, chances with the warlock be damned. But that was just it, the mere mention of seeing Magnus—_two hours, only two hours!_—made his heart skip a beat. He knew this was wrong, he knew there was little worse in the realm of romance-related lies than faking your own _gender _in order to hold someone's attention. And while he doubted whatever would go on in the party would amount to anything serious, how could explain himself if he was ever found out?

_But…_

After months of quietly watching from the corner of Club Pandemonium, Alexandra Lightwood finally had a chance at the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

Even if that meant she had to be Alexander for a night to do it.

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><p><em>Reviews make more kisses... except they're with Magnus, not Dweezle. :D<em>


	3. Alec's Magic Watch, Part 1

**Alec ½ **

_Chapter Three: Alec's Magic Watch, Part 1_

"So, according to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Oh wait... it's fifteen minutes ahead."

"Did you wash your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them."

"I'm not drunk, I'm only intoxicated by you."

"You look cold, you want to use me as a blanket?"

Alec guffawed before reading the next pick up line. "Hey... hey Iz. I have a feeling you can do something no other girl at this party can."

"What..." Isabelle snickered, slowing her pace down so she was alongside her "brother". "What would that be."

Dweezle knifed between the two, snaking an arm around Isabelle's shoulders and whispering in her ear, "You'll say yes."

She squealed, he laughed, and Alec did his best to keep his discomfort to himself. Maybe it was because this was the man who more or less forced him into a life of wild and exciting world of gay and dating singles, something Alec still wasn't sure was necessarily a good idea, and with that she-_for the love of God-_he automatically assumed that Isabelle was safe from the fairy's criminally long list of booty calls. But of course, he had forgotten to take the _fairy _part of that statement into account, a costly something that probably has fucked many siblings before them... that phrasing taken as literally as one wishes.

But there they were, on the way to the party where it was supposed to be _his _lovelife in the forefront and Dweezle was already trying to weedle his way into Izzy's skirt. Worse off, Isabelle didn't seem to mind at all. _At this rate, they won't even make it up all the stairs to the flat with their clothes on. _It was almost enough to eclipse his previously good mood. Almost.

He crumpled the page of pick-up lines, tossing it over his shoulder (and onto the heads of the lagging lusters, to his delight). "I think I'll try something else."

"What?" They had rounded a corner, and Isabelle had come to a stop in front of the apartment complex that dominated the majority of the block. The one that, Alec guessed with a thrill, Magnus resided in. "Oh, come on Alex-_Alec. _Have a little fun."

"Honestly. I've worked my hardest, but it's still up to you to pretend you have a personality." Dweezle grinned, picking up the list. "I'm sure as hell not going to be there to help you out."

"Yeah he's sure as hell not going to- wait, hold on." Isabelle's brow furrowed as she turned to the fairy. "You're not coming with us?"

"I can't be there to hold his hand; Bane might think we're an item." He shrugged, "And anyway, Bane and I have... an unfavorable history. Nothing too messy, but I doubt he'd take kindly to you two if he knew our connections. If you need me, you have my number. And if you _really _need me I'll be enjoying myself in Central Park... so if either of you would wish to join me instead, feel free."

This last comment was obviously exclusive to Isabelle, and at a loss of what else to do Alec did what he always did when Isabelle was having 'moments' with the opposite sex. He rolled his eyes, turned on his heel, and headed to the flat solo.

Of course, in previous cases the place he left in a huff to was his room rather that an incredibly sexy man's apartment and the ones he could rant at was a collection of stuffed bears and not Mr. Bane, said sexy man. So Alec didn't know what to do when he found himself standing in the doorway not two feet from the object of his fantasies since he first saw him nearly two years ago at seventeen. He thought he'd be prepared; he'd played this scenario over and over in his mind in nearly every setting and social situation imaginable. Hell, he'd even been prepared if he'd caught the warlock during a Clave black-magic bust. _"You sir, Warlock Bane, is charged with the unspeakable acts of black magic and cohorting with demons. It is my duty as a shadowhunter to put you under arrest and take you to be held for your most likely inevitable execution. But first, you have to kiss me. A lot." _

But... there was the fact he was _sex on legs _(no really, his T-shirt said so) derailed any plans Alec could have come up he stood there, staring like an absolute idiot as Magnus Bane casually lounged in the doorway, perfectly gelled raven hair, dancer's lithe build, cat eyes and all.

Finally the warlock spoke. "So... what can I do for you, beautiful?"

"I... ah..." Suddenly, the dizzyness Alec suffered under the thought of his crush hit him full force and then some. The entire hall seemed to shift, and whatever hope of a coherent sentence coming out of him disappeared all together, but he still struggled to eek in a response. "Ah... according to my... magic watch... you..."

And with that, Alec dropped like a sac of potatoes.

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><p>"Alec... Oh my God!" Isabelle was barely able to make it up the stairs in time to catch the sight of her older "brother" konk out right into Magnus's arms. "Oh my... I'm so sorry. My brother, he's-"<p>

"Adorable." Magnus mused, kneeling down so he could scoop up the shadowhunter full-on bridal style. He flashed the sister a reassuring smile. "He's not the first to buckle tonight. I've been trying to get Meliorn to hold back on the twigsmoke- you can't imagine what effect it has on mortals -but he just kept lighting every goddamn candle I have. Had to kick him out. I thought my apartment was finally aired out, but I suppose I was wrong."

"Oh. Oh!" Isabelle smiled, "Of course, that must have been it."

The warlock stepped back, making room in the entrance for the shadowhunter. "Well, come in, come in. But if you're feeling lightheaded, do me a favor and kick some vampires off a couch or something so I don't have to carry you too."

"I think I'll be fine." She slid in and shut the door. The flat was full to the bursting with nearly every shape and size of downworlder, all milling across the darkened loft taking drinks from enchanted platters that drifted about boasting neon party drinks. Speakers pounded against the walls, exotic beats mixing with indescribably foreign lyrics, threaded through the strobe lights. Between the flashes and the near pitch-black the apartment was without them, Isabelle had to practically hug the warlock's side in order to keep track of him as he made his way to what she guessed was his roped-off bedroom.

_Well, he's forward. _She couldn't help but snicker to herself.

When they finally made it to the room and the door was shut, Magnus sighed "Lights?" and the lamps flickered on.

Isabelle hovered close by as the warlock laid her brother down on the canary yellow comforter, and resisted all urge to swoop in and brush the hair out of his eyes. Good that she did, because Magnus soon was seated on the edge of the bed, straightening Alec's hair for her. It was all she could do not to melt into a puddle of schoolgirl giggles.

"So... I do believe we've met." Magnus didn't take his eyes off of Alec, now playing with a certain unruly lock. "Club Pademonium, correct?"

"Yes, we have." _You've met Alex too, but hopefully you don't know that. _"Didn't think you'd remember."

"Remember? Raymond couldn't shut up about you on the rest of the night." Magnus rolled his eyes, apparently the fairy he went home with wasn't as enviable as Alex had imagined. "That's what I get for picking up bi guys. No offense, dear. You deserved praise- you pull of fashion in a way I envy."

Isabelle laughed. "Well, I still have that dress if you want to borrow it."

"No thanks." A pause, "So... this is your... older brother?"

"Yup."

"So you're the middle child?"

_Wait. How does he know about Max...? _Then she remembered how he commented on how 'young' Alex was at the club a week ago. _Well... I'm technically telling the truth. What harm will it do? _"Yeah, it kind of sucks but you get used to it."

"I suppose you do." Magnus tilted his head to the side, cat eyes deep in thought. "You should bring him to the club more often."

"Alec?"

"Is that his name?" A small smile quirked his lips. "Alec. I've got to remember this one."

Isabelle settled on the mattress next to him. "You like him, don't you?"

"Well, seeing as we haven't had a decent conversation yet, no. I don't." Isabelle deflated at this statement, and was about to pounce him with a sisterly defense when he finished. "But if his looks are anything to judge by... and me being the vain whore I am... I'd say I'm intrigued, at the very least. Maybe even a little infatuated." He glanced at Isabelle, smirking. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." She reached over and began fixing Alec's collar, that had crumpled during the fainting fiasco. "Actually, I think he's going to like you too, if looks and this conversation is anything to go by."

"Well, that'll do something ease my nerves while this gorgeous boy is sprawled across my bed and I can't do anything to act on it." His grin had grown impish, but he stood, heading back to the door that lead to the party he was supposed to be hosting. "Now, if you excuse me, I have to make sure the couple dozen strangers currently getting drunk in my flat don't do any irreparable damage. Feel free to stay here as long as it takes for your brother to get his bearings. But I warn you, if he stays too long I'll have no choice but share the bed with him." With a wink, he disappeared into the other room.

Isabelle sighed, shaking her head as she gazed down at her brother.

"Oh Alec... you should knock yourself out more often."

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><p><em>Yup... I'm splitting this into two chapters because I'm lazy and I didn't feel like writing one obscenely long chapter when I could write two manageable ones. Yay, laziness! -.-"<em>

_In case you guys haven't noticed, I went back and re-wrote the first chapter. I've been considering doing this for some of my other MI stories, so it may take me a little while to get back to the next chapter. Unless I get like, uber amount of reviews, then I'd probably reel one out overnight... but that's not like, a threat for reviews or anything. Nope. Not at all. **holds Alec at water-gunpoint** What would make you think that? :D_


	4. Alec's Magic Watch, Part 2

**Alec 1/2**

_Chapter Four: Alec's Magic Watch, Part 2_

_Isabelle had left the safety scissors out again._

_Amongst the scatter of construction paper and glitter glue they winked at Alex like they always had. Mom always got mad when the art supplies were left out for Church to roll around in and most times it was Alex, being the eldest, who got pegged with clean up. Nearly every day she'd eye the shears while collecting the materials around them, leaving that particular spot for last. She would consider, glance at Jace who made habit of curling up on a nearby couch during late afternoons, and then back to the craft table._

_It wasn't more than a week ago when a rogue idea sprouted in her mind involving those scissors. Over the seven day period it blossomed into a full-blown plan that involved and hand mirror and a foray into hair styling behind the locked door of her room._

_She shook her head and swept the last of the pipe cleaners and googly eyes into the storage box. It was stupid. Her mom would kill her... and she much like the thought of dying a mere month before her thirteenth birthday._

_"Hey Rapunzel," She tensed when Jace's voice floated over from his perch on the couch. "Do you know what we're having to eat?"_

_Rapunzel. Even though it had been a good two months he had moved in, the boy hadn't bothered learning Alex's name. Instead he tagged her by her impossibly long hair- it grew faster than others in the family and the tri-monthly visits of the barber did nothing to tame it._

_"We're ordering out." She muttered as she set the box down on the table. Throwing her remaining reservations aside, she snatched up the scissors and headed for her room._

_Her hair would be shorter than Jace's by the time she was through with it._

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><p>Lilacs. The pillow smelled like lilacs.<p>

Alex grunted as she rolled over onto her back. A terrible headache rocked her skull, and for a good minute she had trouble if she was still dreaming or awake. Of course as the pain faded good reason returned and she opened her eyes.

Then she began questioning herself all over again.

Instead of her room's glow-star spatter ceiling, popcorn stucco stared down in their place. The scent of Lilacs strengthened into what she could now tell as a foreign mix of cologne and body spray and all at once a whole slew of inconsistencies rose to smack her in the face.

The pillowcases were yellow. Hers had never been yellow.

The same with the comforter.

As well as the disproportionate amount of glitter.

Then there was her alarming lack of a shirt.

And bra.

What the hell? Arm flying protectively over her bare chest, she bolted upright. As she had already grown to suspect, the room she was in was most definitely not her own. She had been sprawled out on a mattress with nothing between it and the floor, making the electric blue vanity off to the left look even larger with its towering stacks of pots and jars of makeup that would make Isabelle jealous. A curtain stitched together with a rainbow array of velvet fabrics had been pulled over the floor-to-ceiling windows that covered the majority of the west wall, complementing the shagg carpet rug thrown over the wood floor.

To Alex's right was an ajar door. Light poured in through the gap, and she could hear a shower going just behind it.

When the water shut off, Alex where and what she was.

He nearly collapsed against the bedding again. Don't tell me we did it and I don't even remember. I swear by the Angel if that's the cost of Dweezle's little contract I'll shove my stele right up his-

"You're up." Alec was shaken from his fuming when the bathroom door opened fully. There standing soaking wet with nothing but a towel on, was Magnus Bane. Alec's heart skipped a beat. He looked like a completely different person without the makeup and glitter and... clothes.

It was all he could do to keep his eyes on the Warlock's. "Um... yeah. Uh..." He fished around for a proper response. I've fantasized about you since I was seventeen. Sorry to bother you, but why am I half naked on your bed? Is there some special spell you use to keep your hair up like that or do you just use a shit ton of gel?

None of which, thankfully, were ever actually said. Instead, he eeped out a meek "What happened?"

Magnus nodded toward the other door, presumably the one that lead to the rest of the flat. "You passed out on my doorstep. I had no choice but to bring you in."

The memory came back too readily. Of course I did. "I see."

"A real shame you had to wake up though. I was looking forward to sharing the bed with you tonight." Magnus sighed and ducked behind a screen that was just short enough so Alec could see the top half of his head. The towel was slung over the top of the barrier and he could hear the clacking of clothes hangers. "Though we probably still could if you don't want to share a couch outside with your sister."

"My-" Then he remembered. Isabelle. "Is she-?"

"Yes, yes. She had a shot too many during the party and passed out on my love seat. Nothing to worry about, aside from the nasty hangover she'll have to deal with come morning." And arm popped out above the screen and Alec saw a flash of cold silk. "And you're more than welcome to stay here with her."

Magnus stepped out from behind the screen and Alec averted his eyes. The staring made him uncomfortable. "Thanks, I guess."

"Trust me I wouldn't be doing this if I found you unattractive." Magnus smirked and sat down at the foot of the bed. "Now are you going to sleep with me or not?"

"Sleep with-" Alec sputtered, blood rushing to his face. "Wait- you're not- are you?"

Magnus laughed. "My God, you're adorable. No, no, no. I might be drunk but I'm not that forward. Sleeping in the same bed, not on each other."

This did nothing to quell Alec's flushing. "Oh."

"You nephilim are so high-strung."

"Have you _seen _my sister?"

"Touché."

Timidly, Alec lowered his arm away from his chest and pulled the covers off, revealing, thankfully, he was still wearing pants. He felt bare enough without a shirt, he didn't know what he'd do if he was without his jeans as well. "So, uh... where's my shirt?" _And why don't I have it on?_

"In the wash. I'm may or may not have spilled some orange nail polish on you while you were out." He shrugged. "Though I don't see a problem with this."

Alec wasn't used to being so actively flirted with. Sure, he had seen boys dance circles around Izzy but this... with her-_him. Him him him him. _It sent him into a bit of a shock. "Um, thanks."

As he wasn't used to gallivanting around shirtless, as Alec slid out of the bed and got to his feet he couldn't help but hunch his shoulders and cross his arms conservatively over his chest. He might as well been on display for all of Brooklyn with the way he felt under the warlock's gaze. But just as he was about to shuffle out of the room, a spidery hand clamped down on his shoulder. A thrill shot through him when he felt alcohol-tinged breath tickle his ear. "One question before you go off to loiter in my loft, handsome."

It was a struggle to keep his voice from cracking up an octave when he realized that Magnus's breath wasn't the only thing making him tingle. The shower water that still clung to the warlock's bangs- now turned cold -was making the skin on his shoulder go on the fritz as they dropped down. _How much water does it take again? _"What?"

Alec could feel the smile that stretched the warlock's lips. "What was it that you were going to say at my doorstep? Before, well, you know."

_Damn. It. All. _"It's nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing."

"No really I-"

"Please?"

With a sigh, Alec muttered, "...according to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear."

There was a beat of silence. Then Magnus leaned in closer and a few more dangerous drops found their way running down Alec's neck. "...and?"

_Oh, of course he's heard it before. Great. _"Oh wait... it's fifteen minutes ahead."

"Exactly." The warlock chuckled and pulled away. "Sweet dreams, shadowhunter."

All too soon Alec was on the other side of the door, closing it. True to Magnus's word Izzy was spread out over the loveseat surrounded by various liquor bottles and wine glasses. _Well at least she still has clothes on. _He approached the couch and sat down on its arm, pulling a blanket that was draped over its top cushions down over her rising and falling shoulders. With a mumble she snuggled into it, and Alec smiled.

Yes, he had missed the party and yes he didn't get any "sexy warlock booty" as Izzy had put it earlier that night. He might have been shirtless and tingling from a few drops of cold water and all around a little out of place in a body he still wasn't sure was truly his.

However he was satisfied with the little things, little things he knew wouldn't stay little for much longer.

This was the first night Alexandra fell asleep as Alec in the High Warlock's flat.

This was the first night she-_still he?-_fell asleep fully content.

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><p><em>AN: After too long, I'm back! :D_

_You see that pretty picture up in the left corner? You see it? You can thank the fabulous **She-be from deviantART** for that lovely cover. Honestly guys, you should like go and say hi to her and see her other TMI and TID fanart. It's freaking amazing. :D_

_I should be posting more regularly, as I've somehow weasled this fanfiction into being my project for my first semester creative writing class. God bless my teacher, is all I can say. So *fingers crossed* once a week updates? Always on a Monday? Maybe?_

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed/followed/favorited this. Honestly you guys have so much patience with my crap updating. XD_

_Review to get more shirtless Mags! (Because I'm completely for objectifying downworlders)_


	5. Lesbians

_A/N: Hey guys. Life decided to suddenly steal all my writing time away for the last couple of months so I'm really sorry that I haven't been up to par with the updating. But I've dropped a class which gives me some more wiggle room, so hopefully I can get back to regular updates again. :D If any of you guys are actually still following this, bless your malec addiction. I'll love you forever. XD_

_UPDATE: I have changed the ending of this chapter and extended it, for all you guys who have read the old one you might want to scroll down and re-read. :D_

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><p><strong>Alec 12**

_Chapter Five: Lesbians_

"So Alex... what sad bastard got drunk enough last night to pop _your _cherry?"

_No one, ass hat. _Alex swallowed this thought before it escaped however, instead chewing on her lip as she kept her gaze fixed on the stove. She had to watch her tongue considering Max was sitting three feet away at the kitchen island, buried in his novel. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, sorry. Allow me to rephrase." Jace slid onto a stool across from Alex. A risky gamble, considering the pot of boiling water sitting between the two. _You're lucky I have to be careful with water or else you'd need so many iratzes... _"What sad _bitch _got drunk enough last night to-"

"For the Angel's sake, Jace, I get it." She hissed through clenched teeth. With a sharp flick of her wrist she unloaded several servings of spaghetti into the pot and then flung the empty box at Jace with similar precision. Sometimes being a shadowhunter had it's perks. "And please don't swear in front of Max. The last thing we need is for him to follow in your footsteps."

"Aw, I'm just expanding his vocabulary. Isn't that right?" He threw this question over his shoulder to an unresponsive Max. Alex smiled. Her younger brother could tolerate almost anything, a skill very few Lightwoods could attest to. But the rejection didn't seemed to ruffle Jace and he turned right back to Alex. "Well it's not every day my sister comes home with a butch haircut and smeared with pixie dust. If I didn't know any better I'd say you'd found yourself in the middle of a lesbian orgy. Though now that I think of it... that wouldn't be half bad. I would have preferred if you would have invited me."

Alex arched an eyebrow. "You're a lesbian?"

He smirked. "A lesbian with a massive-"

Max coughed just then, causing Jace to cut off mid-sentence and shoot his younger brother an impish grin that Alex couldn't help but mirror. Before a blush could creep in with the smirk, she ducked behind the counter in search of a stirring spoon. For all of Jace's misgivings, he still could make a girl's heart flutter with that smile of his. Even after years of exposure, Alex still found herself getting giddy over that stupid grin... even when it came with a considerable amount of douchebaggery on the side.

After a little bit of fumbling around- Alex wanted to be sure every trace of the blush was gone -she popped back onto her feet. She didn't look up at Jace quite yet, choosing instead to silently stir the noodles for a bit trying to get her thoughts in line. Jace might of been making fun of the new cut, and while she would never admit this to Dweezle, she actually really liked it. It made her cheekbones look higher and her jaw sharper as opposed to just looking square as it did when she had long hair. She actually caught herself admiring her reflection several times after washing Alec away, combing it into different styles and experimenting with it in a way that she had never cared to do before. It was odd; she probably would have never explored her femininity to this degree if it hadn't been for her forced introduction into manhood.

With this on her mind she looked back to Jace, expecting another snide remark about her hair or her night out with... well, _him. _But she was taken off guard when she was met with a thoughtful stare. Suddenly she felt self conscious. "What?"

Jace shrugged. "I just... well, I was kind of hoping you'd get laid."

_Just when I thought you could form a line of thought without involving sex... _"You're kidding me."

"No, I'm not." He slumped forward, elbows resting on the granite counter. "I mean, you're nineteen and you haven't had a single one night stand, let alone a boyfriend."

Alex's mind flitted to Magnus, but she quickly shoved the thought away. "I haven't found anyone yet."

"In all of New York?"

"I never said it was for lack of a selection."

Jace eyed her, skepticism plain in his expression. "Then what is this guy Izzy's been going on about? That warlock dude... what's-his-face..."

There was no hiding the flush in her cheeks this time. "It's complicated." She shut the stove off and hoisted the boiling pot up, carrying it the few feet to the strainer waiting in the sink.

Of course, Jace got up and followed her, a slow grin returning to his lips. "Isn't he gay?"

"He's bisexual."

"Not from what I've heard."

"Shut up, he is." She flinched when a few drops of scalding water splashed up onto her hand, its burn not nearly as threatening as that electric tingle of magic that it stirred up. _No, no, no... the_ last_ thing I need is for him to find out about this. He'd never let me live it down. _

"Whatever you say, dear sister." He laughed and leaned back against the counter next to her, surveying the kitchen with his usual lighthearted superiority. "Actually... I think I might have run into him before, at a bar. He's the one with the cat eyes and the shit ton of hair product, right? Sort of looks like that lesbian singer in Tokio Hotel?"

"Bill Kaulitz is a dude, Jace, and it's kind of hard to be a lesbian when you have a dick." She scrunched her nose and turned to her brother. "What's with you and lesbians tonight?"

"Dunno. I guess I find them attractive in the same way you find your gay warlock attractive. The forbidden fruit tastes sweetest and all that." He cocked his head at Alex. "Are you _sure _you're not a secret lesbian?"

"Yes, I'm sure Jace." Alex sighed before pulling the strainer out of the sink and dumping its contents back into the empty pot. She then shoved it at Jace. "You're turn."

He groaned. "Aw, come on!"

"Oh shut up. All you have to do is load the pasta onto the plates and add sauce. And no I can't do it because I have to go take a shower." She tossed the spoon into the sink to be washed later and began to make her leave; she really didn't have time to argue the point with Jace.

Jace's brow furrowed. "Right before dinner?"

"I'm not eating here. Izzy and I are going out to eat at Taki's tonight." She mussed Max's hair as she passed him on her way out, resulting in a quick good-bye smile before he dived back into his novel. Turning on her heel at the doorway she waved at Jace, grinning. "Have fun with mom and dad alone with Max."

Loud protests followed her as she scurried away down the hall, she not feeling the least bit guilty for pegging him with the remainder of the chore. It wasn't like he hadn't done it to her dozens of times before.

Soon she was in the bathroom, stripping down and bracing herself for yet another evening of masculinity 101. She wasn't the biggest fan of the tedium of the lessons Dweezle gave, or Dweezle in general, but after the night of Magnus' party she was hooked. Magnus had been attracted to her- or him, she was still confused about the pronouns; something Dweezle had promised to help out with -proof that the trips to the fairy's apartment weren't for nothing. Sure he was a pain and Izzy seemed to become friendlier with Dweezle with every visit, but it did nothing to dampen the thrill of her dreams finally becoming a reality. _  
><em>

Just as she had hooked her thumbs around the hem of her jeans, her pocket vibrated. She frowned, fishing her phone out. _Izzy and Jace know I'm in the shower, and I never gave Dweezle my number. Who the hell else has my number?_

She checked the opening screen as the phone continued to rattle in her hand, confusion worsening when she was faced with an unfamiliar number. After pondering if she should simply hang up, she hit the answer button and held it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Ah, yes, is this Alec Lightwood's number?" Recognition crackled through her when she heard him. _Magnus. _

_Shit. Shitshitshit. _"Um... yeah, uh..."

"It is?" There was a pause. "Are you one of the sisters?"

"Yes!" Alex jumped on that excuse, relieved she didn't have to make something up herself. "Yes, it is. Would you like me to go get him?"

"That would be nice." The warlock sighed.

"Great! Hang on, just a sec!" Alex pulled the phone away from her ear, holding her hand over the receiver. _Now I have to pass the phone to myself. Shit. Where's Izzy when I need her? _At a loss of what else to do, she sucked in a deep breath and shouted, silently thankful that she had chosen to shower in the far end of the institute where nobody would hear her. "ALEC! PHONE!"

Quickly she tossed the phone onto a pile of towels, and she reached into the shower and turned the water on. As she waited for the water to warm up, she continued her dialogue. "ALEC, SERIOUSLY-"

As soon as the water was hot enough she shoved her head under the shower's stream. The electric jolt of the change rushed through her, and she pulled out from under the rush gasping. "JESUS ALEX, I'M SHOWERING!"

She turned the water back to cold, and doused herself again. "ALEC THERE'S THIS GUY ON THE PHONE, HE'S-" She stopped short and snatched the phone up, and out of breath asked. "Sorry sir, what's your name again?"

"Magnus Bane." He sounded like he was smiling. Alex's heart soared. "I'm guessing this is Alex?"

"Yes, it is." She pulled the phone away and called out again. "ALEC, IT'S THIS MAGNUS BANE DUDE. DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE A MESSAGE OR-"

She chucked the phone back into the pile and turned the water back on hot, kicking the pile as to simulate a struggle. For a third time, she soaked herself.

Alec picked up the phone. "By the Angel I'm so sorry, my sister she-"

"Sounds like a charmer." Magnus chuckled.

Alec grinned. "Yeah."

The line went silent, and Alec's heart leapt to his throat. "You still there?"

"Yes, of course. I was only thinking."

"About?"

"You were in the shower just now?"

Alec looked down at his now dripping jeans and the bra still clinging to his chest. He flushed. "Uh, yeah. I was."

Another pause. "Do you have anything going on tonight?"

"Well, I was going to go out with Izzy tonight but..." Alec's eyes flickered to the bathroom door, as if he was expecting his sister to come through. He shrugged, smiling coyly. Then he realized that the warlock, while magical, probably couldn't see his smile through the phone. "Plans could be changed."

"I'd hate to get on that girl's bad side." Magnus mused, and before Alec could protest he continued. "How about you drop by my apartment for a drink afterwords? We could talk while you wind down from whatever wild night she's got planned."

Alec doubted that anything Magnus had planned would be any less wild than Isabelle and Dweezle, but agreed. "Alright. Does nine sound like a good time?"

"The best." Magnus purred. "See you soon, hun."

He hung up, and Alec checked the time on his phone. _6:32._

_I better get ready._


	6. Beware the Bootycall

**Alec ½**

_ Beware the Bootycall_

"Oh my God." Isabelle gasped. _"Oh my God!"_

Alec sighed, but he couldn't stop the shy little smile creeping across his lips. "Yeah, I know."

"So you're- after here-?"

"Yup."

"-with him?"

"Who else?"

His sister shrieked, crushing him in an over-enthusiastic hug. "Oh Angel! My little sister is growing up!"

"Brother." Dweezle frowned down from the steps leading up to his loft bedroom. His long, twig-like legs swung in the empty air off the side of the staircase as he studied the two shadowhunters celebrating below him. "And I would hold off the victory dance. We're not out of the woods yet."

"What do you mean?" Alec pulled out of his sister's hug to glare up at the faerie.

Dweezle rolled his eyes. "Virgins. So cute, the lot of you." He swung his feet back onto the stairs and stood, 'tsking as he did. "Tell me again what he said to you over the phone."

Alec spared a glance to Isabelle, who only shrugged. Her earlier excitement had died down in a similar confusion. _Well Dweezle it looks like it's not just the virgin who doesn't understand your babbling._ But he refrained from commenting and answered. "He asked if I would like to come over to his place for a drink after I'm done here."

"And that doesn't raise any red flags? No red flags at all?" Dweezle asked as he stepped down to ground level and he leaned against the banister at the foot of the steps. The faerie had the most curious habit of looking like he was posing for a photoshoot whenever he wasn't mobile, a quirk emphasized by the provocative tilt of his hips as he met Alec's baffled gaze with a disdainful stare. Alec supposed in another world, he would find this man attractive. But here and now, all his antics did was remind the shadowhunter of Magnus.

Alec arched an eyebrow and shook his head. "No. Well, I suppose he might think its rude if I don't drink but quite frankly I don't think he's the type to be offended by that sort of thing."

"By God! Is there anything up in that pretty little head of yours?" The faerie groaned. He then strutted forward and slapped Alec in the side of his head. "He wants to fuck you, you brainless romantic!"

"He wants to...?" Alec flushed. "No he doesn't."

"Ah actually..." Isabelle cut in, her lips pressed into a hard line. "Now that Dweezle mentioned it, I think that's probably the case."

The faerie nodded and crossed his arms. _"'Let's have a drink', 'meet me at my place', 'oh sure I don't mind you coming in late'._ This has all the makings of a bootycall, dear."

Alec shifted uncomfortably under the concerned stares of his sister and the faerie. But he stuck to his guns. "He never mentioned wanting to... well, that."

Dweezle was starting to look exasperated. "He doesn't have to. He's a man, he'll say anything to get inside you."

"Says the man."

"I'm not attracted to you in the least so I do not count, little moth."

"Oh really because last week you couldn't keep your hands off of me."

"I was helping get those goddamned skinny jeans off, you ass."

Alec grinned. He had no idea where this orneriness was coming from. Usually it was Jace who broke the ice of an awkward situation with this sort of back-and-forth, but for some reason he was managing a battle of wits with a faerie of all things. But he didn't spend too much time dwelling on the oddity of his situation, and simply finished with, "an ass that you'd love to have."

"Well," Isabelle, once again acting as moderator, said. "I can't believe I'm saying this but Alec... try not to get laid tonight."

She placed a hand on his shoulder and he shoved his hands on his pockets, eyes still fixed on the flabbergasted Dweezle. "I guess what I'm saying is that so what if he wants to sleep with me? I mean, it's better than nothing isn't it?"

"Yes and no." The faerie sighed. "While it's nice to know he's physically attracted to you, that's not all we're going for. You want dates. A steady relationship. That will require more than him just thinking you've got a nice ass."

Alec frowned. "What does that have to do with sleeping with him?"

"If you give him what he wants right off the bat he'll lose interest." Isabelle said with resign. It must have been incredibly painful; after years of shoving her sibling at every opportunity to lose his V-card to advise against climbing into bed with a stupidly handsome warlock. "You've got to play hard to get."

"Oh angel." Alec looked to Izzy, horrified. "Isn't that what you called what you did with Meliorn?"

"Meliorn's the exception not the rule."

"Oh really?"

"Really." Dweezle interjected. "The man has the libido of a dead beaver."

Graced with this new insight of one of his sisters past bedfellows, Alec gagged.

The conversation more or less ended there. Dweezle whisked Alec away to his closet (a sight Alec had become more familiar with than the back of his own hand) to get him dressed for the evening. Isabelle hovered nearby, tossing more tidbits of advice his way as he tried on the parade of shirts Dweezle was pushing him into. Most of it was typical sex ed fare; _"just say no_" and _"watch what you drink, he could roofie it. Actually he's a warlock he can do that even when you are watching it. Just don't drink. Or eat. Or breathe in too deeply"._

Eventually the faerie deemed Alec presentable and with one last warning that he better keep it in his pants or he'd magic "it" away, he kicked the shadowhunter out. Izzy elected to stay behind of course, to do angel knows what with Dweezle. Alec preferred not to dwell on it too long.

With an uncertain adjustment of the hugging sweater he had been forced into, he headed down the street. In not too long, he'd be deeper into Brooklyn, at the front steps of a ruddy looking apartment building. He'd be marching up the stairs, and once again be face to face with the most beautiful man he'd known.

Magnus Bane.

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><p><em>AN: Wow I'm horribly late in updating this. Sorry about that!_

_Graduation's just around the corner for me, though, so I should be able to update this more regularly as well as some of my other stories! :D_

_If you can spare a moment to review, I'll love you forever. :)_


	7. The Good News, Part 1

**Alec 1/2**

_The Good News_

Alec didn't know how long he'd been standing in front of Magnus's apartment building. Stupidly long, most likely, so long that he was starting to get on his own nerves. _Come on Alec. Just, walk forward. Open the damn door. Climb the damn stairs. You've done it before. You can't stand here all night._

He groaned and stared down at his sneakers. Honestly, he didn't know how to face Magnus after the whole magic watch debacle. Sure, Magnus had been the one to call him over thus proving he was still interested in him, but it didn't stop Alec from agonizing over the possibility that he'd prove to be too bland for the vibrant warlock.

"Excuse us." Alec snapped out of his pity party long enough to notice he'd had wandered in the middle of the walk, blocking traffic into the building.

"Sorry," he muttered as he stepped aside to let two young men past. They were impeccably dressed in matching white button down shirts and black ties, though the similarities ended there. The first, the one which had spoke, was awkwardly tall with long slicked back brown hair complemented with a batch of zits that had colonized his chin. The second was half a head shorter than Alec, about the same size he would have been if he was still Alex. He made up for it with shaggy blonde hair like Jace's and being better built than his companion. If Izzy were there, she would have called him cute, maybe cute enough to buy a drink with.

"No problem." The shorter one muttered, receiving a dirty look from his companion for lagging behind. He gave Alec a forced smile before scurrying after him, apartment door swinging shut behind him.

Alec sighed, watching as a handful of other residents walked in and out. After feeling sufficiently creepy after the third young woman gave him the stink eye, he gathered his courage and walked inside.

He had no trouble locating the staircase (there was no elevator, and Alec doubted he'd trust it even if there was) and did his best to focus on each step forward. _No turning around. No stopping. No getting roofied. No passing out._ He sucked in a steadying breath and looked up when he reached Magnus's floor.

However, as he approached Magnus's flat, he saw the two guys from before waiting outside of it. Alec's heart picked up pace as a whole slew of scenarios plauged his mind. _Was I so late that Magnus gave up and invited them over instead? Are they friends of his? Is this game night or something? Are we going to play scrabble? Oh shit what if it's a gay orgy..._

He slowed to a stop several paces behind them. Just as he was going to ask who they were, the door swung open to reveal a rather... flamboyant looking warlock. Magnus looked like he had just returned from a night of clubbing; his hair was spiked to perfection with a few splashes of neon green streaked through with a dusting of silver glitter. Khol eyeliner emphasized his feline eyes and his shirt-a tight-fitting black tank which cut off at the naval-had "Rich Bitch" eblazoned across its front in gold sequins.

Thankfully, unlike his first time on Magnus's doorstep, Alec was able to stay on his feet. But the anxiety still built on itself, and would have become too much if it weren't for the tallest of the two well dressed men said next.

"Ah, hello. We're representatives from Fallsgate Evengelical Church and we were wondering if you had a moment to tell you about our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ."

Magnus blinked. Alec blinked. It was only then that he noticed what one of the boys had been clutching over his starched shirt; a bible and a few crumpled pamphlets. While he didn't know much about mundane culture, he had picked up enough from TV and movies to figure out what these two men were. Something he had only occupied the realm of campfire stories and urban legends, a creature so relentless it has driven people to lock their doors and become recluses. One that even a shadowhunter like himself was powerless against.

They were missionaries.

"I..." Magnus sighed, running a hand through his sculpted hair. Obviously this wasn't the first time he had been hit by doorknockers. _They must visit this neighborhood often_ Alec thought sympathetically. The warlock appeared to be internally debating weather or not to slam the door in their faces and leave it at that when his gaze drifted past the two men and onto Alec. Alec stiffened, suddenly self-conscious.

Magnus grinned. "Actually... yes. Yes I do."

The shorter missionary's eyes widened. "Wait... you do?"

"Wonderful!" The other chirped. _They must not get positive answers often._

"But could you two do me a small favor?" Alec stiffened when the warlock nodded to him, eyes glinting with a wicked brand of mischief. "Let my boyfriend through. He's had a long day and I don't think he'd appreciate waiting out in the hall as we discuss the son of God."

The two froze. "Boyfriend?"

_Boyfriend?_

It was a miracle Alec didn't keel over.

All eyes went to Alec. Once again, the missionaries had two entirely different reactions. The taller was predictably scandalized, the shorter seemed... intrigued? Alec couldn't quite tell what the look on his face was when they both turned to look at him. They glanced back to Magnus, then back to him, gears of thought visibly working as if they couldn't quite wrap their heads around the fact that a cosmetic soaked glitter bomb and scruffy sweater wearer could possibly be involved. To be fair, Alec had trouble with this as well.

"Come on, sweetie, don't be shy." Magnus cooed, winking as he held a ring-laden hand out to Alec. The missionaries split like the Red Sea, making way for Alec. That's when Alec noticed what had originally been obscured when Magnus had first answered the door.

He wasn't wearing any pants.

The sight of glittery boxers slapped Alec in the face, making his heart leap to his throat and his cheeks burn hot. He didn't know if what he was feeling was embarrassment or arousal, but he didn't feel comfortable finding out in front of an audience. He tried to keep his cool, but by the warlock's amused expression he was already found out. _It's the watch all over again._

Magnus pulled Alec into a hug, the scent of sandalwood thick in the shadowhunter's nose as he hesitantly returned it. "Sorry about this, hun," he breathed into Alec's ear, sending shivers down his spine. "I'm just having a little fun, that's all. We'll be alone in no time."

With a nip of Alec's ear, which would have sent him tumbling to the ground, if it hadn't been for the warlock's firm hold, Magnus pulled back only to hook his arm around Alec's waist. Before Alec could protest, Magnus addressed the baffled missionaries. "How about you come inside. I have tea on the stove and an open mind; we should have a proper chat."

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><p><em>AN: What's with me and cutting Magnus's scenes into twos? Also the pitiful lack of kissing? Ah, well. Part two should be coming up sometime this next week! :)_


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